Husbands, lay down your lives for your wives.
When I was in college, I took a lot of dramatic and creative writing classes. One of the things we experimented with was the use, and subtle differences of metaphors, analogies, and similes. With a simple change of a word or two, you can make a sentence mean something entirely different from its previous intent. One can bring two non-related subjects together, and with the use of specific words, either bring insight into one of the subjects, or create an entirely new subjects’ meaning. I’m quite certain I’m making it more confusing than your 4th grade teacher ever did, so I’ll stop with the English lesson!
In Ephesians 5:23, we see a very specific use of the word “as”. In the Greek, there is no room for misunderstanding. “For the husband is the head of the wife, AS Christ also is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the savior.” Paul says, in the exact same way that Jesus is the head of the church, the man is he head of his wife. This is a direct comparison, not a metaphor.
There are many implications of this statement. In the same way that Jesus loved without restraint, gave his live over for, taught – served – we are to do the same for our wives. To many who read this verse it becomes twisted and manipulated (and used for fighting words for feminists). What this verse is not saying is, “Listen woman, you’re supposed to serve me and do as I tell you to because I’m you’re leader.” It’s actually quite the opposite; Paul is saying that in the same way that Jesus led His bride by laying down his life for her (the church), we are to do the same as husbands. This is a sacrificial submission, not a dictatorship. If every husband acted like Jesus, I’m sure most wives would not have a problem with their husbands leading them.
How did Jesus treat his bride? So shall we treat ours….
you’re preachin’ my sermon… literally.
I love this.
This song is for all those chaps who find it a difficult (or impossible) task to lead their wives/families:
http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=7YYWW7NX
You have to be led to lead perfectly. You can’t do it alone. And what wife would not want to be led by someone who is being led by her Heavenly Father?
Beautiful.
Thanks, Joe.
Joe, when you say that the man is the head of his wife in “the exact same way” that Jesus is head of the church, how far do you take that simile? For example, if I closely paraphrase Ephesians 5:23-27 believing that the simile “AS” means exact substitution, it reads:
“Joe is the head of Jen, his body, of which he is the Savior. Jen should submit to Joe in everything. Joe, love Jen and give yourself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and present her to yourself as a radiant Jen, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”
The simile gets weaker as the relationship between Joe&Jen and Christ&church is less comparable toward the end of the passage. This doesn’t mean that the comparison has no value, but I don’t believe it is as ironclad as you stated.
In my church experience, the Ephesians 6 passage about the master/slave relationship is discounted, reading it as a commandment specifically to the Ephesians. For the Ephesians, the husband/wife relationship was based on power. Why would Eph 5 still be read as applying to spouses today when marriages are entered into on a more equal footing?
How can Eph 5 be reconciled with Galatians 3:28 (“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus”)?
I appreciate that you weren’t afraid to tackle a hard verse!
Christi,
Thank you for your response. There’s a couple of points that I want to throw out there for you, and anyone else to discuss.
First of all, I do thank you for your response, as it did challenge me to use your logic in the rest of that passage. However, I don’t necessarily agree with your logic. Using your example of a man and a woman entering into a marriage as equals, lets reverse that logic and apply it to the relationship between the body of Christ (his bride) and Christ himself. If one does flop that logic, one is basically saying that the Bride of Christ is equal to Jesus himself (husband and wife are equals). Under this assumption, when the Church does not agree with the authority of Jesus, His leading, His “rules”, His example, His standard, then we can just tell Him that we are equals and that we have an equal say in this relationship. When we don’t agree with decision, we don’t have to submit. His voice is equal to ours, not an authority.
Using this example, one is suggesting that the standard of marriage that is set by the West is the proper standard. I agree that power-hungry husbands are not right. The qualification for a man to be the head of the house (the head of his wife) is not simply that he is a man, the qualification is that he is a man who follows the example of Christ– the Bible is pretty clear that there should be a head of the household (a head that reflects that of Jesus being the head of his church, as I touched on in the original post).
I do not intend to use these as fighting words, but lets look at a paraphrase from The Message out of 1 Corinthians 11:3-4: “In a marriage relationship, there is authority from Christ to husband, and from husband to wife. The authority of Christ is the authority of God… (read further if you’d like)
My point is this, who is to set the example or the standard? The Bible, Jesus… or the Western marriage? Clearly the Church/Body of Christ is to follow the leadership of Jesus as the head. I believe the same to be true about the marriage between a man and his wife.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the Saviour of the body. – Ephesians 5:23
Backing up…
“Submitting to ONE ANOTHER out of reverence to Christ” (v. 21) “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” (v. 22)
In light of those previous verses, I can’t read this as though Paul means that the husband has all the trappings of Lover and Redeemer and Saviour and Purifier… although at some imperfect level, he is to emulate the Christ.
But while submitting to one another, wives are to submit to their husbands out of reverence to Christ. Why? Because, “the husband is the head of the wife”. Why? Because that’s God’s plan for a marriage. (Even an unequally yoked one.)
“As”. And then Paul shows us in what way Christ demonstrated His leadership and love of His Bride.
This is a call for men to lead their wives and for wives to submit to their husbands’ God-given role as leaders. A man’s God-given role is to ‘love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her’. A woman’s God-given role is to respect her husband, and to submit to his leadership, and when she can do this, she is ultimately submitting to Christ, as her head.
Neither totally agreeing with, nor disagreeing with, all that either of you have said, I do feel the need to add this: that a woman who has chosen to be yoked in marriage has placed herself under the immediate authority of her husband, whether he follows Jesus or not.
Ultimately the believing wife must submit to the Lord and His plan for marriage – which is in reverence to her husband. Only if the unbelieving husband asks something of the wife with is opposed to the Word of God, must she defer to what she knows. It would be wonderful if all husbands would be fully led by the Lord as they lead their wives and families, but this is not always the case, and there is no ‘out’ mentioned in this passage, or anywhere else I have ever read in Scripture!!
And there is neither male nor female, Jew nor Greek, slave nor free in Christ, positionally, but we each have our God-given distinctions and the roles that come with them.
We have equality in relationship, but we each have different parts to play. A man’s role is to love and to lead. A woman’s role is to respect and honour.
Both are to submit to each other and to Christ. 5:21
Loving this….have always really disliked this passage for these exact reasons – can’t wait to hear Alan’s take on it!
can’t wait to hear what God is going to say!
I agree with this wholeheartly Joe. I have been married to my beautiful wife for 42 years and we have been thru trials a tribulations during these years and I admit I have not always done what was expected as the head of the family but was always able to accomplish what needed done as a family.My wife and I have always worked together as husband and wife even though we may have disagreed at times,but that is where the communicating skill has to come into play. The culture I grew up in which I never agreed with or followed was that I am the man of the house,you do as I say. Sometimes my military inbreeding tried to bring this home to the family and it just caused turmoil and I’m glad I learned early that type of thinking didn’t keep peace in the family. I thank my wife for her knowlege and patience with me as we grew in understanding of the things that make a marriage strong ,but most important be committed to each other and a follower of Jesus Christ.