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My Greatest Fear
Okay so I was asked to participate in this “Feed One Another” thing. Pretty cool. Of course my first reaction was to just say yes. Though the address of the scripture didn’t ring a bell, I was secretly hoping that it was a passage with which I was already familiar so I could look spiritually deep and brilliant. But then something in me said I better think and pray about it before accepting the invitation.
I read the passage. It was Luke 23:32-36. My immediate response was, “Uh oh…No! Sorry, I have a lot going on. Try me later,” punctuated with the cute little smiley face made of the semi-colon & parenthesis ; )
I think God was up to something else. I was compelled to do what was contrary to what I was feeling. I read the passage over and over and started to realize that I was feeling the same thing each time. It was a feeling I have had since I was a child, but never voiced – not to anyone – until I started working on this!
To be honest, I’m kind of embarrassed to tell you what these verses and several others have stirred in me since I was a child… Had I been there at Golgotha, what would I have seen? Would I have been a devoted follower? Hurler of insults? Believer? Or deceived? Which camp would I fall into?
This is my greatest fear… That I or my family would be deceived. I don’t want to be fooled into thinking that I am so spiritual that I would “just know!”
A friend reminded me yesterday as we were walking that we don’t have to fear that – we have the holy spirit to direct us. Check out John 16:13 “But when he, the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.” Without this assignment I might not have spent the time really thinking about what these verses stir in me. I definitely wouldn’t have talked with a friend about it and dug a deeper in His word. And I wouldn’t have discovered His answer to my lifelong question.
Thanks for taking the time to write. I too wonder if I would know Jesus as the messiah if I had walked along that road and saw this man carring his cross. Would I go along with the crowd and say cursify him? I think I would have wanted to help Mary. I wonder at why God choose me to follow Him. But He did so I would have been following Him back then too. I don’t think I would just know but God tugs and persues His own. Thank you Jesus for walking that road so I could have a relationship with you 2000 years later.
Beautifully said!
Hello my sweet friend!
I was so excited to see you were on here! And knowing your family, I know there is more to the chickens….you’ll have to tell me more about that. Thank you for sharing your heart and being so honest. I really don’t think you are alone in that fear. I can certainly relate. Hug all the Arias clan.
Miss you, my friend!!!
MA
Andi -
REALLY good stuff here. And… YOU are not deceived. God IS working through and with you. Thanks though for wrestling, thinking, praying… and then sharing.
Thanks for not going with the semi colon and parenthesis.
Many, many people around CCC still talk often and well of the Arias clan. You guys are loved. Please know that.
Blessings!
alan
It has been great to hear from you. It was an honor to participate in this. We love CCC so much and can’t wait to see you all again soon. -Andi