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Me of Little Faith
Are you kidding me? How can Peter be so weak!! Where is his character? Jesus predicted that he would deny Him and he still did it. Think of all that Peter had been through with Jesus. Jesus called him when he was a lowly fisherman. He walked with Jesus on water and he saw an untold number of miracles. Yet, Peter still had so little faith. This would never happen to me!! Or would it?
Up until a few months ago, I thought my faith was pretty solid. I am a good citizen. I go to church every Sunday and dearly love my family. Everything was easy. That all changed on August 22nd when I was involved in a boating accident and went through probably the worst period of my life. My heart had this huge hole in it. I had so many questions as to why would God allow this to happen. How could He let a child get severely hurt? Why me? Where are you God? I was in a true crisis of belief.
Yet, there He was. He showed Himself in EVERY event and performed miracle after miracle. He revealed himself in the body of believers that ministered to me and my family. He let the child that got hurt walk again. He was right there in regular old people showing Himself. I came to see how small my faith was before, and how I denied Christ every day by just marginally living for Him.
Peter was human; he was afraid and uncertain of his future. He could have been killed if he revealed himself as a disciple. Thankfully, God is full of love and grace. (boy do I need grace!) He later gave Peter other opportunities to serve Him. God sees a lot more in us than we can possibly see in ourselves.
Michael I have thought and prayed for you these last months. It has been hard. Yet so cool to look back and see the ways God was working and we didn’t know it.
One of your statements woke me up this morning with a jolt. It was “see how small my faith was before, and how I denied Christ every day by just marginally living for Him.” I can see the times in my life where marginal living occured. I hadn’t put denying Christ with it. WOW. Lord today is your day I want to live for you.
Ouch!! That hurts so good. I find myself consumed with my own issues to realize what God has given to me. I understand that we go through trial in order to strengthen us, and to help our brothers. I have not gone through anything like dying for someone.
How selfish of me to only tink of myself.
God forgive me.
Michael,
We have all prayed for you guys so much over the past few months. It is wonderful see that God is and always will be a God of miracles! I know He will continue to use your story in to bring others to Him. Thank you for sharing your heart and the reminder of what denying Jesus really looks like. I know I am guilty. When I first saw The Passion of the Christ, I got a lump in my throat when I saw that part with Peter. Even though I had read it many times before, it really struck me seeing it acted out…knowing I probably would’ve done the same thing, and that is a sad realization. Miss you guys!
Michael -
Thanks for sharing your story with us. You have been strengthened and comforted so that you can do the same with others. Satan was sifting you, but Jesus was praying for you… and would not let your faith fail.
You and yours are loved and missed around CCC.
alan
Thanks Michael. So often, I end up telling myself “Oh me of little faith” I can so easily fall into the marginal living. I really have to give everything over to Him daily. This is such a great reminder for me to pray without ceasing.
Thanks for this, Michael. You have been surrounded by more prayers of your fellow believers than you probably know these past few months!! We love you guys, and praise God for His faithfulness to sweet Caitlin and her family. Your trial is our trial, and when your faith is strengthened, so is ours!! Praise God for never denying us…even when we are shaky at best.
Good morning Michael, thanks for your words and for sharing. Kristin and I have prayed for you and your family through this and I appreciate you writing about your experience and have missed seeing you around CCC. “How am I denying Jesus in my daily life?”, is a critical introspection. Not “Are you”, but “How are you?” It is a wake up call when you state “by marginally living for Him”. We can all be encouraged by your journey and where it has led you and hopefully take your lessons to heart and inspect ourselves at such a core level. Thanks for sharing Michael!
Michael,
Thank you for sharing your personal struggle with us this morning. You have reminded us that we, like Peter can walk with the Lord, and then in a moment of crisis become “human, afraid and uncertain.” Thank you for reminding us that in our fear and uncertainty, our God is still there full of His wondrous love, and grace! You are so right, God sees something in us that we don’t see… He sees who we really are in Christ Jesus, that person we were created to be made complete and perfect in His love!
Michael, I have been living in Savannah the past year and was unaware of your accident. I, too, had an accident recently (obviously not as severe as yours) but it rocked my world. Never have I experienced so much physical pain. I saw myself as one who sought Him diligently until this happened. Now I know a whole new level of seeking Him diligently and get a whole new picture of “me of little faith”. God loves us so much He sometimes takes drastic measures to draw us closer to Him. I keep reminding myself that my discomfort is but a hiccup compared to what Jesus suffered.
Mike,
My answer to your questions are 1. Not today 2. As little as necessary and 3. More than I care to recognize. I’m selfishly hoping for Jesus return so that I won’t have to endure harsh sifting. (Nice motive, huh?!) But if He delays I trust He’ll continue the work He began in me so that when I am crushed in the press of life I’ll be able to stand. God is faithful. I am not. His faithfulness trumps my weakness. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Thank God.
And thank you Mr. Ballew. We miss you and your clan.
Great story. It’s great how God picks us up when we all go under water.
Michael – Thanks for sharing from such a personal and difficult place. Although we’ve been way on the sidelines through all of this, know that we have and will continue to pray for you, your family, Caitlin, her family, and the others involved. Thanks for using this story in your life to connect the dots for me – helping me see my humanness more clearly – weak, of little faith, fearful, and living marginally. Fortunately, though, this realization helps me see more clearly my need for God’s strength, grace, love, peace, and provision. We love your family and miss seeing y’all more regularly…but are thankful you’re just around the corner and rest in knowing that you’re just a call away. Take care friend….and thanks again.
Michael,
Thank you for sharing a little about your experience and how God showed himself to you and all those involved in Caitlin’s accident. Thank you for reminding how little faith I have and how I need to be drawing closer to HIm everyday. We love and miss your family around CCC!
Mike,
Thanks for joining us in our journey (again). We too dearly love and miss you and your family. There are plenty of us that were walking along side you in prayer during this time. It was an incredible witness for us to see your resolve during this time and you have been a great witness to those of us who watched from a distance. All of us struggle in times of crisis. It is God’s grace and love that keeps us moving forward and not necessarily anything we do in our own power. God’s knows we can have doubts but he is faithful always.
Thanks Mike
Frank
Michael,
What is awesome about this story is the example of forgiveness that JESUS has for Peter and for us. I know I am inspired by how JESUS treated Peter when He saw him after the Resurection. I am also inspired by the way Peter speaks of JESUS in Acts 2:14-41….Peter says in verses 38 and 39 “Repent and be baptized, everyone one of you, in the name of JESUS CHRIST for foriveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off – for all whom the Lord our GOD will call.” I know He has called you Mike! Thank you for sharing your story.
Eddie
Michael:
The well have no need of a physician. Times of trouble make us aware of our need for the Lord. We have been praying for you. That in itself is an act of tremendous grace. The body of Christ lifting you up to our great God. God is good. His grace endures forever.
Thank you for sharing your revelation.
Your brother in Christ,
Robert
Hi Michael, like others have said you probably have no clue how many and who all have been praying for you. An email reached us in SC and we followed the immediate accident but didn’t know the conclusion – now we do….our prayers will continue and we hope prayers for us to not deny or live marginally for him. I often wonder if we aren’t boasting of HIM is that a form of denial…I pray that we can also boast.
Norma and Bill Wayco