1 Tim 1:1-11 begins with Paul exhorting Timothy to keep the faith, fight the good fight, love God and others with a pure heart and a clear conscience and stand strong against false teaching. Paul goes on to remind Timothy that he (Paul) was the worst of sinners before “the grace of our Lord was poured out on (him) abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus” (v. 14). Then, in verse 17, Paul (probably with the help of the Holy Spirit) defines who God IS. Paul says that God is “King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.” This is where I started to feel the sting. I began to wonder, do I really believe that God is all these things? Intellectually, yes, I do. But a deeper look into my soul reveals something less affirming and more disturbing. My knowledge of this Truth doesn’t evoke the response that it should. Why? If I truly believe that God is who He says he is, shouldn’t my life look and feel differently? For example, if I believe, as I say I do, that the God of the universe, eternal, immortal, invisible is present as we worship on Sunday morning shouldn’t I be leaping out of bed, eagerly awaiting the opportunity to love and be loved by Him? What about my personal quiet time? Shouldn’t that also reflect a sense of anticipation and expectancy in communing with the God of the universe through His Word and Spirit? I think the answer is yes to both questions, yet the practical application eludes me. It is me, and my preoccupation with the cares of the world, or is this a normal part of the Christian walk? There have been times in my life where I have felt God’s presence so intimately, so deeply, so powerfully that I willingly surrendered every part of my soul to His will. But this type of experience is rare, and fleeting. Should it be; does it have to be?
Paul understood who God was (to the extent that any man can understand God), and not just experientially or intellectually, but who God was in him and through him. He learned to honor and glorify God with every aspect of his life, and in all situations. And he did it with passion and zeal. Perhaps I should pray for a Damascus experience? Or, is God constantly revealing Himself to me but I’m just too busy to recognize Him? I think this is called idolatry in the Bible….the same sin that derailed the Israelites’ time and time again. Ouch…the sting just got much more intense.
June 26th, 2009 - 10:09 am
Kelly, great job with this. I too struggle with this. Intellectually, this is all pretty easy, but truly living it out and experiencing God in a deep and meaningful way on a daily basis is very difficult. Let me know if you figure it out!