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Marriage 24/7
You may think for someone that has been married for 17 years, I don’t know what it is like to dwell on the topic of divorce. Wrong. I view myself as having three jobs. The first is my marriage. The second is that of mother and the last is teacher, the one that pays me.
As you may agree all jobs tend to get a little boring, stressful, frustrating and /or exciting at times. This is the way I view marriage. The first year is learning to cohabitate. Then the honeymoon ends and you realize it is not as “fun” anymore. It would be very easy to look outside the marriage at another person and imagine what life would be like with them. Would it be more exciting, less stressful, less frustrating living a life with them?
In Luke 16:18 (NIV) Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Wow, at first it appears the men are getting a lashing. I tend to think it is speaking to me as a wife as well. I think as the wife it is my duty to dress and speak appropriately to other males who are not my husband.
As in any job it would be easy to walk out the door and say I quit! In Matthew 5:32(NIV) states that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulterous. So, when things start to get a little boring, stressful or frustrating in your marriage don’t look the other way. I suggest you LOOK at your spouse and really communicate with one another. Looking back over my marriage, I have noticed it was when Roger and I were going through a rough spot that we grew closer as a unit. It doesn’t “feel” like it at the time but it has been true for us.
For anyone who is thinking about marriage, I strongly advise you to pray for God’s guidance. Marriage is a job where you are on call 24/7.
who took this picture?
Amen Amen! As most people today, I have witness several friends and family members get married without the belief that forever, through thick and thin REALLY means forever, through thick (and thicker) and thin (and thinner). When the going got tough, they did the easy thing and got a divorce. Marriage is work. Relationships are work. God wants us to invest the time and effort to make those connections solid as a rock.
Amen. 24/7, rain or shine…in season and out…year in, year out. This morning my husband and I are celebrating our 40th anniversary, and as I look back on the things we have navigated together I am in total awe–and I know that only the “cord of three” got us through it and kept our bond completely intact though it all. It’s been like running the rapids, it seems…with a few years of calm inbetween. Our Lord never gives us anything beyond what we can bear, and with the testing, He always gives us a way out (endurance). But it doesn’t always “feel” that way. Thank you Teresa for putting this scripture in the context of a real “Job”…and for your precious reminder that it is a “job” given by Him, and therefore we will be rewarded by Him (though indeed it is only through Him that we can do it in the first place). When push comes to shove, I read and depend on the cord of three…Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV) Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
AMEN, AMEN, AMEN
I’ve had two marriages – my first husband was killed in an auto accident – my second husband divorced me for another woman, then two years later he died from cancer. Which was worse – death or divorce? Divorce!
Teresa -
And… I think Jesus is actually NOT just telling us to NOT get a divorce. I think his real purpose here is to excel in marriage … not just co-exist. I think we are to build in to our spouses and create great models for our kids. Dying to self is the only way… Jesus is the only way to excel in marriage.
I’m grateful that you and Roger do just that. Your marriage is a model. Way to go!!!
thanks.
To clarify, I do agree with Alan here. (Reading my comment back, it sounds a bit harsh towards anyone who is divorced.) The work must be put in…I stand by that. But that’s not to say if divorce has been a part of your life it was because you didn’t try….
My lovely wife and I have been married 31-plus years – we have 4 kids. My first marriage ended in divorce after 3 years – we had no children. In both marriages, we were both believers and we “married in the Church.”
So what is the difference? Did we have 10 times the love in the second marriage to last 10 times longer? Nope. I believe not just love, not “chemistry,” not necessity, not having children, not even working hard at it, but it’s total commitment to Jesus and what God intends for marriage.
So where is the hope for those of us who have been abandoned and divorced? What if we have already re-married? Like Bill I believe marriage is a total commitment.
Karen,
I think the hope is Jesus and GOD’s grace. There’s a cycle of regret and doubt that bedevil us who have been divorced, just because we do love the Lord and we are committed. It’s hard to let it go, but we just have to.